Am I doing this right?
It's the most common question from new meditators. And it's understandable — meditation is invisible. You can't see if you're doing it correctly.
Good news: meditation is simpler than you think. The basics matter; many details don't.
Here's what "proper" meditation actually looks like.
What Proper Meditation Is
The Core Practice
Regardless of style, meditation involves:
- Placing attention on something (breath, mantra, body, etc.)
- Noticing when attention wanders (it will)
- Returning attention without judgment
- Repeating
That's it. Really.
What Success Looks Like
Proper meditation is not:
- A blank mind
- Total stillness
- Blissful feelings
- No thoughts
Proper meditation is:
- Showing up and sitting
- Noticing when your mind wanders
- Gently returning to your focus
- Doing this repeatedly without harsh self-judgment
If you did that, you meditated properly. Even if your mind wandered 100 times.
Basic Instructions
Step 1: Prepare
Location: Somewhere reasonably quiet. It doesn't need to be silent.
Position: Sitting is traditional but not required. Sit on cushion, chair, or lie down if needed. Back straight enough to stay alert.
Eyes: Closed is easier for beginners. Some practices use eyes open, soft gaze.
Duration: Start with 5-10 minutes. Build from there.
Step 2: Choose an Anchor
Pick something to anchor attention:
Breath (most common):
- Notice the breath as it naturally happens
- Feel it at nostrils, chest, or belly
- Don't control it (unless you want to)
Body sensations:
- Feel your body in space
- Scan through sensations
Mantra:
- Repeat a word or phrase silently
- Return to it when distracted
Sounds:
- Listen to whatever's present
- Don't label or analyze, just hear
Step 3: Place Attention
Gently bring attention to your chosen anchor.
- Don't force or strain
- Light, curious attention
- Notice the experience directly
Step 4: Notice the Wandering
Your mind will wander. Guaranteed.
This is not failure. This is the practice.
- Notice "I'm thinking" or "I drifted"
- No need to analyze what you were thinking
- Just notice that attention moved
Step 5: Return
Bring attention back to your anchor:
- Gently, without frustration
- Without judging yourself
- As many times as needed
- This IS the exercise
Step 6: Repeat Until Timer
Continue the cycle of focus → wander → notice → return.
When time ends, open eyes slowly, pause before jumping up.
What Matters (and What Doesn't)
What Actually Matters
Consistency: Daily practice beats occasional long sessions.
Intention: Coming to practice with willingness to pay attention.
Non-judgment: Not attacking yourself for wandering.
Returning: Bringing attention back, over and over.
Patience: Understanding this is a slow development of skill.
What Doesn't Matter Much
Perfect posture: Comfort matters more than precise form.
Perfect silence: You can meditate with noise.
Special clothes, cushions, settings: Nice but not required.
Having no thoughts: Impossible and not the goal.
Feeling a particular way: Some sessions feel good, some don't.
Common Mistakes
Mistake 1: Trying to Stop Thoughts
Thoughts are not the enemy. You can't stop them by trying. The practice is noticing them and returning, not eliminating them.
Instead: Let thoughts happen. Don't follow them. Return to your anchor.
Mistake 2: Forcing Concentration
White-knuckling attention creates tension.
Instead: Light, relaxed attention. When it drifts, notice and return. Easy does it.
Mistake 3: Judging Yourself
"I'm terrible at this" or "I can't meditate" are just thoughts. Following them is not better than following other thoughts.
Instead: Notice self-judgment as another thought. Return to anchor.
Mistake 4: Expecting Particular Experiences
"Nothing happened" or "I didn't feel anything special."
Instead: The value accumulates over time. Individual sessions aren't supposed to feel a certain way.
Mistake 5: Inconsistent Practice
Meditating for an hour once a week vs. 10 minutes daily — the daily wins.
Instead: Build a sustainable habit. Short and daily beats long and occasional.
How to Know If You're Doing It Right
You noticed your mind wandered: That's mindfulness. You're doing it right.
You returned to your anchor: That's the practice. You're doing it right.
You finished the session: That's commitment. You're doing it right.
You're not beating yourself up: That's kindness. You're doing it right.
The bar for "proper" meditation is low. If you did these things, you practiced correctly.
"But My Mind Is So Busy"
This is the number one concern. Your mind seems louder during meditation because you're finally noticing how active it is.
A busy mind doesn't mean bad meditation:
- The busier the mind, the more opportunities to practice returning
- Noticing the business is awareness developing
- Even 5 seconds of focus between wanderings is progress
Some days are busier than others. That's normal.
Troubleshooting Common Issues
"I Fall Asleep"
- Sit upright rather than lying down
- Meditate earlier in the day
- Open eyes slightly
- Get more sleep generally
"I Get Restless"
- Restlessness is fine to experience
- Don't fight it — notice it
- Start with shorter sessions
- Body scan or walking meditation might suit you better
"I Don't Know If I'm Doing It Right"
If you're sitting quietly, placing attention, noticing wandering, and returning — you're doing it right. That's genuinely all there is.
"I Don't Feel Different"
- Benefits are cumulative, not immediate
- You're training, like exercise
- Notice changes over weeks and months
- Don't evaluate session-by-session
"I Get Anxious When I Meditate"
For some people, especially with trauma history:
- Keep eyes open
- Use external anchor (sounds) instead of internal (breath)
- Shorter sessions
- Consider guidance from trauma-informed teacher
Different Styles (All Valid)
There's no single proper way. Legitimate approaches include:
Breath awareness: Follow natural breathing.
Counting breath: Count exhales 1-10, repeat.
Mantra: Silent repetition of word or phrase.
Body scan: Progressive attention through body parts.
Open awareness: Notice whatever arises without specific focus.
Visualization: Imagined images or scenarios.
Loving-kindness: Generate wishes of wellbeing for self and others.
Movement: Walking meditation, yoga, tai chi.
All are "proper" meditation when done with intention and attention.
The Simplest Instructions
If all of the above feels like too much:
- Sit down
- Close eyes
- Feel your breath
- When you notice you're thinking, return to breath
- Continue until a timer rings
That's proper meditation. Everything else is refinement.
Building Your Practice
Start Small
5-10 minutes is enough to start. Consistency matters more than duration.
Same Time Daily
Build a habit by linking meditation to existing routine:
- After waking
- Before bed
- After morning coffee
Track Your Practice
Note when you meditated. Seeing the streak motivates consistency.
Don't Evaluate Sessions
"Good" and "bad" sessions aren't useful categories. Just note: "I practiced."
Be Patient
Changes are gradual. Give it weeks and months, not days.
Proper Meditation with Drift Inward
Drift Inward supports correct practice:
Guided Sessions
When unsure, guided meditation removes guesswork: "Guide me through a basic 10-minute meditation." You follow instructions — that's proper practice.
Instruction for Techniques
Request specific guidance: "Teach me how to do breath awareness meditation properly."
Support When Uncertain
Ask questions: "Am I supposed to control my breath or just watch it?" Get clear answers.
Building Consistency
Use daily practice to build the habit that makes meditation work.
The Bottom Line
Meditation is simpler than it seems:
- Sit
- Pay attention
- Notice wandering
- Return
- Repeat
If you did that, you meditated properly.
Stop worrying about whether you're doing it right. If you're showing up and trying, you're doing it right.
For guided meditation that removes the guesswork, visit DriftInward.com. Just follow the guidance. That's proper meditation.
You're already doing it right.
Keep going.